Sometimes the timing is just not right!
Got back from Jersey last night on the flight which contained over 20 kids from my sons school including him! This was not a great idea as I could tell he was enjoying the sense of freedom and having his mum on the same flight was going to spoil the tail end of his trip. Unfortunately I couldn’t change the flight. I did my best to dodge him at the airport but that’s pretty difficult when you’re crammed onto a tube with wings.
Anyway when we got through and into the car he said absolutely nothing to me. I felt gutted! I’d gone on the trip so he knew I wasn’t far because at the time he was not confident about going. But he’s grown up now and I can see that change in him. His silence in the car felt like forever, if I tried to break it it fell on grunts. I knew my presence had made him feel embarrassed, and as a mum I felt really sad he felt that way about me. But I understand it’s growing up!
Instead of pursuing the conversation I said nothing and the drive in the dark in the rain with the windscreen wipers as the only thing between us was uncomfortable. The silence was unbearable, I see him keep looking across at me and then all of a sudden he pulls out this watch from his pocket and silently hands it to me.
In that moment everything was fixed I knew he still loved his mummy and he could see I still love him as tears roll down my cheeks. He had bought me a watch in the shop, it probably only cost him £10 but it is the most precious watch I have ever been given. I will treasure it forever. He then pulls out a small baby shark for his little sister and the conversation started flowing. I’ve got my boy back I thought…
I’ve learnt to be quiet as I’ve experienced life more and more. Sometimes words are not needed but the simplest of actions or gestures are far mightier than any vocabulary. Far moving than any dull how’s the weather conversation just to get things going. And in that moment you realise that just because there is silence doesn’t mean there isn’t still communication or time to reflect. I literally had no words for him when he gave me that gift, I was taken aback, and so glad I hadn’t pushed the conversation when the time wasn’t right for him! He had to settle back into my company again and consider how he was feeling about me being in his space. I had no choice, and he understood in the end.
Anyway I put this to you, sometimes if the time isn’t right and you’re not ready things just won’t fall into place. You need to take a step back, be silent for a while and think about what it is you want, and where you are going. Once you can fully answer this then you can take that first step to asking the question that you need answered, going where you need to go, or taking the advice you need to take in order to achieve whatever it is you want to achieve in your life.
Never try to rush things especially your training, if the time isn’t right for one thing it may be right for another. Can’t train? Do something else instead. Even if it is sitting still in the quiet of your own mind just planning your next meal that is in line with your macros. Like I always say you lose weight in the kitchen you gain muscle in the gym. Give yourself time to get to the gym if you’re not quite there yet, just be at peace in the kitchen.
When the time is right the energy will flow. I’m not saying you’re going to get a watch but what I am saying is start listening to yourself and ask yourself where it is you want to go! Freaking out about the prospect of having fitness in your life (or your mum 😉 is just a state of mind – let it sink in and take one step at a time. Be still my flower, breathe…
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